i'm yours, ghosts and all

i'm back in my childhood home, in the childhood bedroom i shared with my sister until i moved out aged 18. she's living in another city now so i pushed our beds together - affording myself a luxury i never had as a child, a double bed. i just finished reading the goldfinch by donna tartt and it moved me like all of her writing does. there's always the same theme - innocence and innocence lost. she is forever stuck in the past, in the broken parts of childhood, in the moments that will define who we become when we grow up, if we ever do. it reminds me of a section in jonathan lethem's fortress of solitude, where the narrator tells his girlfriend that the reason he glorifies his past so much and views it with such wonder is because his childhood was the only part of his life that wasn't directly affected by his childhood...it sounds strange, typing it out, but that's something that's never really left me.