"as long as theres someone like you and theres someone like me, then theres people like us"

i'm moving to serbia in two and a half days. i keep getting migraines and there is a patch of dry skin on my thigh that keeps returning. i'm convinced that there is something rotting inside of me. when things are going well in my life i think of death. i drive slowly and am scared to merge. i avoid the motorway. i flinch whenever a large vehicle overtakes me. 27 years old and still my all-encompassing pervasive reaction to happiness is the expectation that soon i will be devoured by the wheels of a ten ton truck on the a45.

when i was younger i said the only thing i hate more than people who leave is people who come back

now i just wish everyone would keep returning

i read something along the lines of "i'm not where i want to be but thank god i'm not where i used to be"

“The feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most, are those that are absurd – The longing for impossible things, precisely because they are impossible; nostalgia for what never was; the desire for what could have been; regret over not being someone else; dissatisfaction with the world’s existence. All these half-tones of the soul’s consciousness create in us a painful landscape, an eternal sunset of what we are.”

dark fleeting thoughts