"as long as theres someone like you and theres someone like me, then theres people like us"

i'm moving to serbia in two and a half days. i keep getting migraines and there is a patch of dry skin on my thigh that keeps returning. i'm convinced that there is something rotting inside of me. when things are going well in my life i think of death. i drive slowly and am scared to merge. i avoid the motorway. i flinch whenever a large vehicle overtakes me. 27 years old and still my all-encompassing pervasive reaction to happiness is the expectation that soon i will be devoured by the wheels of a ten ton truck on the a45.

when i was younger i said the only thing i hate more than people who leave is people who come back

now i just wish everyone would keep returning

i read something along the lines of "i'm not where i want to be but thank god i'm not where i used to be"

“The feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most, are those that are absurd – The longing for impossible things, precisely because they are impossible; nostalgia for what never was; the desire for what could have been; regret over not being someone else; dissatisfaction with the world’s existence. All these half-tones of the soul’s consciousness create in us a painful landscape, an eternal sunset of what we are.”

dark fleeting thoughts

Ruin yourself before they can.

If you don't have the discipline to hurt yourself then find someone who does.

Anticipate rejection because it is easier.